Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
