So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
