Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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