i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
this will be a night to untag.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
