I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
where are my eyebrows?
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