so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
