Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
