I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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