no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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