just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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