she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
