Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
