I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
