I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
