Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize