Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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