Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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