I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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