ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
