remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
