So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
