Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
