I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
