I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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