It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My vagina is officially offended.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
