All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
