I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
