I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
