omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
