I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
