What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
