therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
