about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
