lets start a swedish sibling band together
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
