I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize