Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
