Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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