don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
