this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize