I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
