Can i not drive my cunt home
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
