plz talk dirty to me
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
