Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have tasted many bathrooms
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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