will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
