If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize