I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
