the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
