well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize