There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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