my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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