so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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