it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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