my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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