My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
