I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
