Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
