cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
