So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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