The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
