threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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