She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
