Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Less talking, more tequila
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
