she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
